A Tortured Soul

Today I decided to give you guys a big treat. This is a poetic something (I don't really know what to call it) that I wrote a little while back. This is going to invoke some strong feelings and reactions from people (possibly you). Read carefully and with an open mind. If you are not open minded, then you will fail to understand where this story comes from. 

A Tortured Soul

            There is an old saying that the eyes are the window to the soul. Supposedly if you stare into someone’s eyes long enough you can see deep down in to their soul and see exactly what they feel and what they are truly made of.  People look into mine and they see mystery. If they only looked harder, they would see that there is no mystery. In my soul lies darkness, torture, sadness, and anger. The type of darkness that is all consuming. The darkness rushes over my every being until I cannot see or find my way out. My first instinct is to fight, fight my way out. I fight as if my life depends on it, and what no one realizes is that it truly does.

Boys Will Be Boys, Really?

   Little boys are known for their hyper behavior and lack of using their brain when they do things. Boys play in dirt, put frogs in sister's bed, and pour bubbles in the toilet just to see what will happen. These things are all commonly followed by the phrase (especially from grandparents), "Boys will be boys." 

  Let me tell you. I have one of those boys. Ian is all over the house. He cannot manage to sit still. He drives me crazy most of the time, but he is too cute to stay mad at for too long. This past week that all changed.

   I was sitting at home on Tuesday at around 2:30. It was close to time for school to get out so I was just waiting and watching TV (I should have been doing something more productive, but OH WELL). My cell phone rings, and I notice that it is the school. Well my assumption is that it is the nurses office because Ian is know for his clumsiness. It was not the nurse. It was the PRINCIPAL. Ian was in the office. 

Changing Comment Format

I just wanted to give you a heads up. If you have commented and the comment disappears, I did not delete them. I am changing the boring format of Blogger to the exciting format of DISQUS. 

Disqus makes it easier to reply and be part of active conversations in the comment section. Thank you for your patience and understanding. 

Who are you REALLY?

   Recently I found myself confronted with a question, "Who are you REALLY?" This question did not come from some philosophical book but rather a relative/friend of mine, Chelsea. It was interesting that she asked that question because I believe that as a person this is something that we all struggle with at some point. 

      I struggle horribly with this question at times. I have come to define myself as a mother and a wife. This makes me angry. I get upset at the fact that I have lost who I am in the daily duties that I do. I am a maid, a chauffeur, a personal chef, and a therapist. I am often referred to as LeAnne's mom or Donny's wife. At what point do I get my identity back? At what point do I get to follow my dreams instead of helping everyone else follow their's? The answer to that question is simple.......NOW. 

      I have decided that I am going to return to school and get my Master's degree in English. Hopefully by this time next year I will be a professor at a community college. Now that my youngest child, Miss Chloe-Marie (and yes that is her first name), is in school for three hours a day I can focus on me for a bit. I guess the main question is still waiting to be answered. Who am I REALLY?

    I am an artist. I use my imagination to create stories that the mundane cannot begin to comprehend. I am a tortured soul. A soul that has been through more pain than most people can handle in a lifetime, but I endured most of it before I was 18. I am a teacher. I thrive to educate and guide others in life. I am a mother and a wife. Those are two roles that no matter how much I don't want them to define who I am, they do. Where do these things lead me?

     Only time and God can truly answer those questions. All I know for now is that this is who I am. 

Who I am!

       Hello! My name is DeLisa. I am 27 years old, a mom, and a wife. I am very free spirited and love nature. I love cupcakes and books. If I could live in any land in my imagination, it would for sure be Candyland or with Willie Wonka. My life is no where near as boring as everyone else's because I build my own alternate reality in my brain. 

      I have an amazing husband that I love a ton, but he also drives me completely mad. Can you imagine how hard it is to be married to someone like me? It is not an easy task, but he does it with ease and grace. 

       I have a ton to say and a lot of times it will make no sense. I speak my mind so there is a chance that if you continue to read my blog that you might at some point in time find yourself offended. I have tattoos and dark hair, and it doesn't bother me that people stare. 

      My goal with this blog is to just be me. I want to write about what I want, and take photos of what I want. One day I will be famous, you just wait and see. 

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